March 21, 2014

Reflections of Love

As I reflect back in time, I find that the pain and happiness of those years has been the barometer of how I have measured and conducted my adult relationships these past 37 years. 

It’s hard to find words to explain the many ways that those days forever changed my life.   A chunk of my heart has been stolen away, never to be seen or found by any other.   The highs were high, and the lows were emotionally so very hard to bear.  Many days were spent wondering what I could do to make the pain disappear.   In the grieving process, I have found only time can heal those wounds in the most healthiest of ways.  The loss of love, is one thing I will never get accustomed to in this lifetime.  But, now clearly understand that God has my destiny planned.   He only allows me small choices, the big ones are in his hands.

Love shows itself in so many ways and intensities.  Passion can be wonderful, intoxicating and the most overwhelming feeling in the world.  It changes your state of mind and being, and causes one to feel as if it is a drug that you can’t do without.  This is why matters of the heart, can make a person loose themselves if not of a stable state of mind.  When you love with all your heart and are naïve, it opens the door for many life lessons.  Not ones that you wish on everyone but, yet almost do so they can understand the power of this kind of love.  

I have been lucky to experience love several times in my life.  Each relationship helped me to become the person that I am today.  Without those experiences “good or bad”,  I would not be the same individual.  The pain taught me to be stronger, less naïve, more accepting of compromise, more patient, how to hold my tongue and definitely less reliant on another being for happiness.   The happiness showed me what greatness and completeness can be felt when shared with the one you love if you allow yourself to love deeply, with intention and most of all fearlessly.  

I know that life can be short, and I intend to follow my heart to where and whomever it leads me to feel it is overflowing with joy, where my smile is  as bright at the Diamond Head Lighthouse,  where my deepest laughter brings tears to my eyes, where my sense of being is soul arousing like the most heartfelt song by Lionel Richie, where my mind is calmed  with the knowledge that my life continues to be  in God’s hands, and that he will walk with me as I follow this new road that he lays before me with excitement ,  curiosity and maybe a bit of apprehension toward my unknown future.