Once again these past few weeks have shown me, how life can
be fleeting and so unfair for many that
are taken much too soon from their
beloved family and friends here on earth. Unfortunately, every day is really about Life
and Death.
As I sat at a memorial service yesterday at the very same
church where we sat almost a year ago to say our Aloha to my husband Sam, I had
such sadness in my heart for the loss and pain my friend and her children had
to bear as they said goodbye to their father, and ex-husband of 16 years and
friend/partner of 26 years.
It feels like yesterday that I walked down that aisle with a
church full of family and friends. I once again recalled the pain in my heart,
and the sadness in my soul on that day and for months following. As the service began, it was hard to fight
back the tears. But this time the tears
were not for me they were for my friend and my knowledge of the journey
she and her children will be embarking on.
For I have learned so many life lessons through the loss of my husband. I
remembered the tears that flowed down my face that day, and how difficult it
was to believe that this person who I loved would not walk in my front door or
down the drive way again with his surfboard, make his sons laugh, make me
smile, cook us dinner, surf another wave, play with our dogs, or enjoy a fun
evening or vacation with our friends and family.
However as Monsignor Barry said today, it doesn’t mean they
are no longer with you or that you can’t talk to them any longer. I have had many conversations with Sam over this
past year. He just can’t respond in
person, or give me that “are you crazy look” any longer. I do very much feel his presence in my life, his encouragement for me to move forward and be happy and to love once
again.
I have learned over and over this year, that life is meant to
be lived….really lived! Time is a
precious commodity! So many of us live on a treadmill of life, jumping off for
a short time every once in awhile to appreciate our blessings, our families and friends,
and the beauty surrounding us. The joys shared with my friends and
family this year have been many. I know that Sam must be very proud of me and
our boys for how we’ve traveled this road, and come out of the darkness and fog
we felt much wiser and stronger than we could have imagined. Not to say, that
there haven’t been set backs or difficult days at times. But, with all the love we have received it made
it so much easier to take one step at a time. Sam wanted love and happiness
for us, and we have survived many firsts without him this year. I have
personally been reminded that life can be short more than I like, with the
recent losses for my friends and family.
On any given day, we can mourn the death of a good soul and
simultaneously celebrate the joys of new babies being born to our friends,
their children, and others. It is truly,
“the Circle of Life.” There are many surprises in life, I’ve chosen to embrace them because they are
sometimes messages, gifts or guidance from those who have departed. It will take time but, I believe I will one
day understand them all.
I will continue to” Live in the Moment” , by sharing joy and compassion freely, living life large
and loving deeply those that touch my heart, for there is no guarantee of tomorrow.
.JPG)