A Tribute to my Dad and those remembered on 9-11

Through Tragedy One Learns To Appreciate Life and Find Laughter Again"

We all experienced an unforgettable day 14 years ago.  One which rocked many of us to our core.  As we watched the news in horror on Sep. 11, 2001, the tears rolling down our faces as if we knew every single person personally who perished on that fateful day.  It was such a shock to me that other individuals across the globe could have so much hate in their hearts for us as Americans.  

As you age, time seems to go by faster and faster.   It doesn’t feel like 14 years ago.   I know exactly where I was when I heard the news, and for several days after only wishing I knew how to help the families experiencing excruciating grief.   I couldn’t shut off the television because, it still felt like an out of body experience.   I didn’t know anyone personally but, I do have friends and family that did and actually do know of a couple people that were supposed to be on  one of the flights that didn't arrive in their intended destination and in the towers for work.  There were a couple people from our beautiful little town of Manhattan Beach which lost their lives, and I remember hearing about them at church during our daily visits to church that week and that following Sunday morning.   So many thousands of lives, cut much too short!  

After the shock of it all sunk in, many of us in the travel industry headed to New York within weeks of the tragic events for a travel fair and to show the world that we would not stop doing what we love.    As Americans millions of us share the passion for travel, which drives us to immerse ourselves in amazing cultural experiences in destinations throughout the globe. 

I can’t imagine my life without being able to get on a plane and seeing the ancient historical sites, dining in fabulous authentic local restaurants, drinking their signature cocktail or local wines, visiting the ornate churches, walking through cities when the attractions, monuments, and plaza’s are lit up so beautifully at night, hearing the sounds of sweet music from the cafes or street musicians, seeing breathtaking paintings come to life before my very eyes, or enjoying any cross cultural opportunity that presents itself while exploring a familiar or new city.  

I believe God intended us to travel so, that we could appreciate even more the precious life and similarities we share as humans regardless of where we live on this planet or how rich or poor one might be.  It puts a smile on my face to know that the terrorists, saw that we did not collapse as a society despite the most horrific acts against us.  We as Americans pulled together financially and emotionally to support families and first responders during the worst of times and continue to have love and hope to share when needed.  

No doubt, there will be scars for many for the rest of their life as they continue to be reminded annually of the loss of friends and family.   Some I’m sure have never recovered, and they will have a hole in their heart forevermore.  Fortunately, the rest of us have managed to continue on with our daily lives and only occasionally are reminded about these sad events.  Many times over the years, I have thought it could have been me or someone from my own family or close friends.  A few things we all know for sure are; life is unpredictable, it is shorter for some than for others as Cancer and many other diseases take our loved ones, wasted time is not able to be recaptured, a life of kindness and gratitude allows joy into our hearts and those that share our lives, a smile and laughter is universal, and there is so much out of our control, and change and death itself are both guaranteed.   Each day, I am reminded to just leave it in God’s hands to work things out.  Most  important is, that I make sure to understand the intended lesson.  

Today was the perfect example, of how precious life’s lessons can be even at a time of loss.   As my sons and I were on our way to the Riverside National Cemetery to have my father’s memorial and internment service, I realized 30 minutes into our drive that I had forgotten to bring my dad.  Yes, his ashes were left at home.  I’m sure you can understand the panic and anxiety I felt at that moment, as I looked over and told my sons.   For a moment I considered crying but, then thought laughing would so much be better.  So I then laughed for the next 5 minutes, as I was wondering what I was going to do.  It was too late to turn around as it was a military service and I knew they would not wait for me.   Then I thought what would my friends do?   I immediately began calling friends and neighbors until I got a hold of two people who helped by getting into my house, locating my father’s ashes and placing them outside for pick up and delivering them to the driver.  You guessed it, we contacted UBER and my son reached out to the driver to tell him of our plight.  Thankfully, my father made it to the cemetery about an hour after we arrived.  He was able to be interned in his new peaceful resting place this afternoon, "almost" without a hitch.

The best part of the story is that my Dad hadn’t driven for about 20 years and took a taxi whenever he could not find a ride.  If he was mad that I could not take him somewhere, he would say “fine, I’ll just take a taxi”.   It usually brought a chuckle to myself because, I knew he wanted to go gambling at the casino regardless if he had to bring a walker and oxygen tank in tow.    Today in our rush to get there on time became another one of those moments that I was just too busy with life’s responsibilities to take him somewhere.  So, he managed from above to have the “last laugh” as he got his own driver and took Uber (which he had not done before) to his own burial.  

I’m certain my dad, Sam, my brother, sister in law and uncles must have just been laughing as hard as my sons, nephews and nieces, cousin and I.  Although,  for some reason my mother didn’t find it as humorous.  Nevertheless, it will now be a family story that will live on and they will be able to share it with their kids, and grand kids.   

The service was an impressive military ceremony with the Honor Guard, the Gun salute, Taps, and Flag ceremony. Followed by a perfect sermon by Father Connor, who impressed us so much as he managed to memorize our family members who have gone before him.  He shared some stories about my Dad that I provided, and made us all laugh when he acknowledged that this was the first time that he presided over a service where someone had to get themselves there by Uber.   

I’m sure that my dad is smiling from above, and very happy I managed to pull it all together for our family service to honor him. I feel the lesson learned is, that I need to slow down and take a look around as I just might discover the most important person or thing of that day is right before my eyes.

As well as, remembering to not take life too seriously as laughter allows us to smile once again. Even in life’s saddest of times.   He may have been forgotten for a brief time today but, I’ll always remember his smile, his holding my hand,  the smell of his Old Spice cologne, the times when he told me he was proud of me, playing a game of pool with the pool shark himself,  seeing the smile on his face when he played Poker or Blackjack, his ear to ear grin when he tried to discipline my sister and brother after having a party when our parents were away, his usual….”I was thinking” phrase before he wanted to convince you to do something, and especially when he told me that he wished he could take Sam’s place in heaven to make my pain go away. 

A parent’s love is special, and these are a few of the things that will keep him in my heart as I continue this journey of life until I see him again in heaven.