A Tribute to my Dad and those remembered on 9-11

Through Tragedy One Learns To Appreciate Life and Find Laughter Again"

We all experienced an unforgettable day 14 years ago.  One which rocked many of us to our core.  As we watched the news in horror on Sep. 11, 2001, the tears rolling down our faces as if we knew every single person personally who perished on that fateful day.  It was such a shock to me that other individuals across the globe could have so much hate in their hearts for us as Americans.  

As you age, time seems to go by faster and faster.   It doesn’t feel like 14 years ago.   I know exactly where I was when I heard the news, and for several days after only wishing I knew how to help the families experiencing excruciating grief.   I couldn’t shut off the television because, it still felt like an out of body experience.   I didn’t know anyone personally but, I do have friends and family that did and actually do know of a couple people that were supposed to be on  one of the flights that didn't arrive in their intended destination and in the towers for work.  There were a couple people from our beautiful little town of Manhattan Beach which lost their lives, and I remember hearing about them at church during our daily visits to church that week and that following Sunday morning.   So many thousands of lives, cut much too short!  

After the shock of it all sunk in, many of us in the travel industry headed to New York within weeks of the tragic events for a travel fair and to show the world that we would not stop doing what we love.    As Americans millions of us share the passion for travel, which drives us to immerse ourselves in amazing cultural experiences in destinations throughout the globe. 

I can’t imagine my life without being able to get on a plane and seeing the ancient historical sites, dining in fabulous authentic local restaurants, drinking their signature cocktail or local wines, visiting the ornate churches, walking through cities when the attractions, monuments, and plaza’s are lit up so beautifully at night, hearing the sounds of sweet music from the cafes or street musicians, seeing breathtaking paintings come to life before my very eyes, or enjoying any cross cultural opportunity that presents itself while exploring a familiar or new city.  

I believe God intended us to travel so, that we could appreciate even more the precious life and similarities we share as humans regardless of where we live on this planet or how rich or poor one might be.  It puts a smile on my face to know that the terrorists, saw that we did not collapse as a society despite the most horrific acts against us.  We as Americans pulled together financially and emotionally to support families and first responders during the worst of times and continue to have love and hope to share when needed.  

No doubt, there will be scars for many for the rest of their life as they continue to be reminded annually of the loss of friends and family.   Some I’m sure have never recovered, and they will have a hole in their heart forevermore.  Fortunately, the rest of us have managed to continue on with our daily lives and only occasionally are reminded about these sad events.  Many times over the years, I have thought it could have been me or someone from my own family or close friends.  A few things we all know for sure are; life is unpredictable, it is shorter for some than for others as Cancer and many other diseases take our loved ones, wasted time is not able to be recaptured, a life of kindness and gratitude allows joy into our hearts and those that share our lives, a smile and laughter is universal, and there is so much out of our control, and change and death itself are both guaranteed.   Each day, I am reminded to just leave it in God’s hands to work things out.  Most  important is, that I make sure to understand the intended lesson.  

Today was the perfect example, of how precious life’s lessons can be even at a time of loss.   As my sons and I were on our way to the Riverside National Cemetery to have my father’s memorial and internment service, I realized 30 minutes into our drive that I had forgotten to bring my dad.  Yes, his ashes were left at home.  I’m sure you can understand the panic and anxiety I felt at that moment, as I looked over and told my sons.   For a moment I considered crying but, then thought laughing would so much be better.  So I then laughed for the next 5 minutes, as I was wondering what I was going to do.  It was too late to turn around as it was a military service and I knew they would not wait for me.   Then I thought what would my friends do?   I immediately began calling friends and neighbors until I got a hold of two people who helped by getting into my house, locating my father’s ashes and placing them outside for pick up and delivering them to the driver.  You guessed it, we contacted UBER and my son reached out to the driver to tell him of our plight.  Thankfully, my father made it to the cemetery about an hour after we arrived.  He was able to be interned in his new peaceful resting place this afternoon, "almost" without a hitch.

The best part of the story is that my Dad hadn’t driven for about 20 years and took a taxi whenever he could not find a ride.  If he was mad that I could not take him somewhere, he would say “fine, I’ll just take a taxi”.   It usually brought a chuckle to myself because, I knew he wanted to go gambling at the casino regardless if he had to bring a walker and oxygen tank in tow.    Today in our rush to get there on time became another one of those moments that I was just too busy with life’s responsibilities to take him somewhere.  So, he managed from above to have the “last laugh” as he got his own driver and took Uber (which he had not done before) to his own burial.  

I’m certain my dad, Sam, my brother, sister in law and uncles must have just been laughing as hard as my sons, nephews and nieces, cousin and I.  Although,  for some reason my mother didn’t find it as humorous.  Nevertheless, it will now be a family story that will live on and they will be able to share it with their kids, and grand kids.   

The service was an impressive military ceremony with the Honor Guard, the Gun salute, Taps, and Flag ceremony. Followed by a perfect sermon by Father Connor, who impressed us so much as he managed to memorize our family members who have gone before him.  He shared some stories about my Dad that I provided, and made us all laugh when he acknowledged that this was the first time that he presided over a service where someone had to get themselves there by Uber.   

I’m sure that my dad is smiling from above, and very happy I managed to pull it all together for our family service to honor him. I feel the lesson learned is, that I need to slow down and take a look around as I just might discover the most important person or thing of that day is right before my eyes.

As well as, remembering to not take life too seriously as laughter allows us to smile once again. Even in life’s saddest of times.   He may have been forgotten for a brief time today but, I’ll always remember his smile, his holding my hand,  the smell of his Old Spice cologne, the times when he told me he was proud of me, playing a game of pool with the pool shark himself,  seeing the smile on his face when he played Poker or Blackjack, his ear to ear grin when he tried to discipline my sister and brother after having a party when our parents were away, his usual….”I was thinking” phrase before he wanted to convince you to do something, and especially when he told me that he wished he could take Sam’s place in heaven to make my pain go away. 

A parent’s love is special, and these are a few of the things that will keep him in my heart as I continue this journey of life until I see him again in heaven.   

Reflections of Life, Love and Travel –“Let Wisdom Guide You”

As I reflect on the sad occurrences in the world in these past few weeks, I remain devoted to finding ways to be a part of a humanity that provides love, kindness, understanding and compassion each day.

I believe we all know that life is fleeting.  We see every day on the news that we could be “here today , and gone tomorrow,” as individuals without a moral compass, unexpected accidents, and Mother Nature much like Cancer leave behind a path of destruction.   

Through aging I’ve learned and experienced life’s happiest and saddest moments. So, as I continue on this journey I will  use my gained wisdom to make the best life possible by practicing my own advise below;

• Have faith….even at the most painful times. The Lord will carry you through the darkness and sorrow.
•  Believe in Angels ….My family and I have been surrounded by them with an incredible earthly presence these past few years.
•  Love beyond belief ….Daily life gets in the way but, the reward is immense.
• Take one day at a time ….you will enjoy it more and truly appreciate the goodness in others.   
• Forgive those that have hurt you... It allows the anger to dissapear with time.
• Accept the sadness ….take it in, and let it go. It eventually brings you to a new inner peace and appreciative heart.
• Dance to the music ….it opens up your heart and soul to a different rhythm allowing only happiness to enter your being.
• Embrace the joyful moments….Love, Laugh and Live. You will not want the days to end.
• Learn from your past …Accept your human, and not perfect. There will be good days and bad, and     mistakes and great decisions are all part of life. Of course, good decisions can make your life great.
• Change is inevitable…. As the saying goes, "when one door closes, another opens." 
• Live in the present… Cherish each day, and open up your heart for all the unknown possibilities for love and happiness. Each day is a blessing. Don't just be a spectator.
• Be a great friend… The joy and appreciation it brings you and others will create beautiful life bonding moments.
• Family …does not have to be only those with your DNA. Surround yourself with family (by blood)   and those you would choose. "Be optimistic"… from tragedy, sorrow and pain can come beautiful rays of light that teach us to truly empathize for one another, making us better human beings.
• Remain curious ---Travel the world, read more books, learn new skills, we are being prepared for our next adventure like those that have departed.
• Leave your mark… we can’t all be incredible artists with great paintings of immense value, or have   voices like Luther, Lionel , John, Adele or Alicia Keys but, we each have God given talents that you can and will be remembered for when you leave this earth. I want mine to be as simple as that I was a Loyal, Kind, Generous and Loving human being. Until that day comes, I’ll do my best to maintain a life of gratitude and continue exploring ways to share a life well lived with others. 

My personal motto continues to be, "work hard, play hard, and dance until you can't dance any more.  "May your “wisdom” guide you to Live in the Moment, and have a passion for Life, Love and Travel.  

Reflections of Life , Love and Travel -- I am Passionate about Travel

I have been in the Travel business since 1982, and feel so blessed that one day I spoke with a friend’s father who was a wonderful and highly respected man. His name was Jim O’Hara, who at the time owned Cypress Travel and was President of the So Cal PATA organization. 

At a gathering one evening, he asked me what I wanted to do for a living?  He knew at the time that I was on an emergency credential teaching elementary school, and that I had some interviews with Social Services. But, I had not found full time employment immediately after graduating CSULB with my Sociology degree and that this was a pivotal life decision at 23 years old.   

Frankly, his Irish personality was bigger than life and one that made anyone feel at ease. He and his wife Mary who was of Mexican heritage had 5 children.  The love they had for each other, their family, friends, children’s friends and the Catholic Church was admirable and readily apparent as they welcomed everyone happily into their homes.  I just happened to be the fortunate one dating a friend of one of their daughter’s Fiancé at the time.  But, this conversation with Jim O’Hara changed the course of my life. 

He asked me some questions, then told me that I should really consider the travel business.  He suggested (about this very same time in 1982)  that I go to Anaheim and visit some of the hotels during my Easter break from teaching the 5^th grade class, and ask them if they had training positions or any openings in their Sales departments.  For some reason, he knew back then that I had the character/personality to make travel my career.  I did exactly what he told me to do and as luck would have it I received a call for an interview.  Sadly, I didn’t get that position. But, the man who interviewed me Joe Toro, the Dir of Marketing at the Grand Hotel in Anaheim felt I could be a salesperson.  He told me he would refer me to anyone looking to hire and train someone new to the business.  Then 3 weeks later, I got that call and was on my way to my new career in travel two weeks after the school year ended.  I’ve parlayed this into a 30 year plus career. 

Because of them, I found my passion!  By believing in myself, God and with the helping hand of two amazing men who took the time to care about my future I have traveled extensively internationally and domestically which without a doubt has enriched my life and perspective on people and the world. Yes, that Sociology degree has definitely also come in handy over the years.  I don’t have a degree in travel but, sometimes it’s that hands on experience that provides you the knowledge and wherewithal to succeed in any career along with a lot of hard work.

I wish I could tell them both once again how extremely Thankful I am for their contribution to my life, as I’ll forever be grateful for their foresight and guidance.  Unfortunately, Jim and Joe have both passed on to that wonderful place in heaven reserved for angels who did their job well by not only touching my life but, absolutely so many others.

If you know any young adults who seem lost or trying to get started in the business world please, take a few minutes of your time to talk with them and ask them what are their dreams, what do they love to do,  what puts a smile on their faces?   You could be that person’s angel!  The one that makes a huge difference in their life by caring, talking and providing suggestions to them.  

Becoming an adult can be a very scary place when you don’t know who you want to become in 3, 5 or 10 years.  Each of us has needed mentors sometime in life.  We are all here for a reason, let’s try to do whatever we can to lift someone up and earn our wings. 

I will continue to  ”Live in the Moment,” living a life of gratitude,  traveling the world with a passion for new discoveries, appreciating all the love I receive,  and awaiting the many blessings that I am yet to know. 

The Future is Bright

I still find myself many days trying to understand why my life has taken such an unexpected detour.    How did this awful disease enter Sam’s body and consume it, as if it was a welcomed guest.  All the while, slowly taking away the best of his human spirit, beauty, and dignity.  It is still so painful for me, to relive the last days of watching him fade away into a slow never to return sleep. 

The happy memories and life we built keep me going day to day but, then one shared life experience comes to mind and I am once again teary eyed.  The emotion that sweeps into my mind and heart seems like it will not ever go away, no matter how hard I try. I know being happy within myself and time are the only things that will eventually allow me to be at peace with his loss.  How much time, is the magic question? I started to take steps into a new life, only to be pulled back by unknown forces.   This was something that I was also unprepared for at this junction in time. 

These feelings have caused me to make decisions that will once again forever impact my future.  Through the ups and downs of life, there have always been people that have played a role in creating the individual I am.  There are many family, friends and special men who have shown their love and devotion for me but, I understand more clearly that like Sam some are meant to be a part of me with a pre-determined time and place in my life’s journey. 

I now see the individual that I am today is so very different from the young girl getting started in the adult world.  My life experiences have made me stronger, less needy, less naïve, less accepting, more controlling, more judgmental and more determined to build the life I envisioned for my years ahead. My quest is still unfolding before my eyes each new day. Especially as I bid farewell to another year, that has shown me strength, enlightenment, love, sadness, happiness and so much beauty from the people I have surrounded myself with each day. As well as, throughout my travels to Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Cancun,  Los Cabos, Hawaii and the incredible awe-inspiring Italy.     

Following my heart and intuition have always played important roles in my life so, it is with this trust that I continue on the road to healing this broken heart.  I will keep reminding myself every day of this New Year that if, I look up at the stars and the moon I will find a special heart filled with love for me to get me through the difficult moments of those days which make me question “why”” once again. I realize that as we walk our journey both the happiness and sadness we endure creates character building moments in this lifetime. 

I have faith in God,  and believe he,  Sam and the angels above will continue to guide me until I sit on my own star one day whispering to those I love from that great big universe far beyond.  So until then my philosophy of Living in the Moment will be as stated by Dr. Seuss, “Don’t Cry because it’s over, Smile because it happened. “

During those times of sadness, I wish us strength to push ourselves over the mountain peaks so, we can always see the beauty of the valleys that lie before us.  I believe the future is bright, and know this will be another year filled with hard work, soul searching and exciting adventures that I intend to embrace with a renewed enthusiasm.  I am forever grateful for you being a part of my life story.