A Tribute to my Dad and those remembered on 9-11

Through Tragedy One Learns To Appreciate Life and Find Laughter Again"

We all experienced an unforgettable day 14 years ago.  One which rocked many of us to our core.  As we watched the news in horror on Sep. 11, 2001, the tears rolling down our faces as if we knew every single person personally who perished on that fateful day.  It was such a shock to me that other individuals across the globe could have so much hate in their hearts for us as Americans.  

As you age, time seems to go by faster and faster.   It doesn’t feel like 14 years ago.   I know exactly where I was when I heard the news, and for several days after only wishing I knew how to help the families experiencing excruciating grief.   I couldn’t shut off the television because, it still felt like an out of body experience.   I didn’t know anyone personally but, I do have friends and family that did and actually do know of a couple people that were supposed to be on  one of the flights that didn't arrive in their intended destination and in the towers for work.  There were a couple people from our beautiful little town of Manhattan Beach which lost their lives, and I remember hearing about them at church during our daily visits to church that week and that following Sunday morning.   So many thousands of lives, cut much too short!  

After the shock of it all sunk in, many of us in the travel industry headed to New York within weeks of the tragic events for a travel fair and to show the world that we would not stop doing what we love.    As Americans millions of us share the passion for travel, which drives us to immerse ourselves in amazing cultural experiences in destinations throughout the globe. 

I can’t imagine my life without being able to get on a plane and seeing the ancient historical sites, dining in fabulous authentic local restaurants, drinking their signature cocktail or local wines, visiting the ornate churches, walking through cities when the attractions, monuments, and plaza’s are lit up so beautifully at night, hearing the sounds of sweet music from the cafes or street musicians, seeing breathtaking paintings come to life before my very eyes, or enjoying any cross cultural opportunity that presents itself while exploring a familiar or new city.  

I believe God intended us to travel so, that we could appreciate even more the precious life and similarities we share as humans regardless of where we live on this planet or how rich or poor one might be.  It puts a smile on my face to know that the terrorists, saw that we did not collapse as a society despite the most horrific acts against us.  We as Americans pulled together financially and emotionally to support families and first responders during the worst of times and continue to have love and hope to share when needed.  

No doubt, there will be scars for many for the rest of their life as they continue to be reminded annually of the loss of friends and family.   Some I’m sure have never recovered, and they will have a hole in their heart forevermore.  Fortunately, the rest of us have managed to continue on with our daily lives and only occasionally are reminded about these sad events.  Many times over the years, I have thought it could have been me or someone from my own family or close friends.  A few things we all know for sure are; life is unpredictable, it is shorter for some than for others as Cancer and many other diseases take our loved ones, wasted time is not able to be recaptured, a life of kindness and gratitude allows joy into our hearts and those that share our lives, a smile and laughter is universal, and there is so much out of our control, and change and death itself are both guaranteed.   Each day, I am reminded to just leave it in God’s hands to work things out.  Most  important is, that I make sure to understand the intended lesson.  

Today was the perfect example, of how precious life’s lessons can be even at a time of loss.   As my sons and I were on our way to the Riverside National Cemetery to have my father’s memorial and internment service, I realized 30 minutes into our drive that I had forgotten to bring my dad.  Yes, his ashes were left at home.  I’m sure you can understand the panic and anxiety I felt at that moment, as I looked over and told my sons.   For a moment I considered crying but, then thought laughing would so much be better.  So I then laughed for the next 5 minutes, as I was wondering what I was going to do.  It was too late to turn around as it was a military service and I knew they would not wait for me.   Then I thought what would my friends do?   I immediately began calling friends and neighbors until I got a hold of two people who helped by getting into my house, locating my father’s ashes and placing them outside for pick up and delivering them to the driver.  You guessed it, we contacted UBER and my son reached out to the driver to tell him of our plight.  Thankfully, my father made it to the cemetery about an hour after we arrived.  He was able to be interned in his new peaceful resting place this afternoon, "almost" without a hitch.

The best part of the story is that my Dad hadn’t driven for about 20 years and took a taxi whenever he could not find a ride.  If he was mad that I could not take him somewhere, he would say “fine, I’ll just take a taxi”.   It usually brought a chuckle to myself because, I knew he wanted to go gambling at the casino regardless if he had to bring a walker and oxygen tank in tow.    Today in our rush to get there on time became another one of those moments that I was just too busy with life’s responsibilities to take him somewhere.  So, he managed from above to have the “last laugh” as he got his own driver and took Uber (which he had not done before) to his own burial.  

I’m certain my dad, Sam, my brother, sister in law and uncles must have just been laughing as hard as my sons, nephews and nieces, cousin and I.  Although,  for some reason my mother didn’t find it as humorous.  Nevertheless, it will now be a family story that will live on and they will be able to share it with their kids, and grand kids.   

The service was an impressive military ceremony with the Honor Guard, the Gun salute, Taps, and Flag ceremony. Followed by a perfect sermon by Father Connor, who impressed us so much as he managed to memorize our family members who have gone before him.  He shared some stories about my Dad that I provided, and made us all laugh when he acknowledged that this was the first time that he presided over a service where someone had to get themselves there by Uber.   

I’m sure that my dad is smiling from above, and very happy I managed to pull it all together for our family service to honor him. I feel the lesson learned is, that I need to slow down and take a look around as I just might discover the most important person or thing of that day is right before my eyes.

As well as, remembering to not take life too seriously as laughter allows us to smile once again. Even in life’s saddest of times.   He may have been forgotten for a brief time today but, I’ll always remember his smile, his holding my hand,  the smell of his Old Spice cologne, the times when he told me he was proud of me, playing a game of pool with the pool shark himself,  seeing the smile on his face when he played Poker or Blackjack, his ear to ear grin when he tried to discipline my sister and brother after having a party when our parents were away, his usual….”I was thinking” phrase before he wanted to convince you to do something, and especially when he told me that he wished he could take Sam’s place in heaven to make my pain go away. 

A parent’s love is special, and these are a few of the things that will keep him in my heart as I continue this journey of life until I see him again in heaven.   

Reflections of Life, Love and Travel –“Let Wisdom Guide You”

As I reflect on the sad occurrences in the world in these past few weeks, I remain devoted to finding ways to be a part of a humanity that provides love, kindness, understanding and compassion each day.

I believe we all know that life is fleeting.  We see every day on the news that we could be “here today , and gone tomorrow,” as individuals without a moral compass, unexpected accidents, and Mother Nature much like Cancer leave behind a path of destruction.   

Through aging I’ve learned and experienced life’s happiest and saddest moments. So, as I continue on this journey I will  use my gained wisdom to make the best life possible by practicing my own advise below;

• Have faith….even at the most painful times. The Lord will carry you through the darkness and sorrow.
•  Believe in Angels ….My family and I have been surrounded by them with an incredible earthly presence these past few years.
•  Love beyond belief ….Daily life gets in the way but, the reward is immense.
• Take one day at a time ….you will enjoy it more and truly appreciate the goodness in others.   
• Forgive those that have hurt you... It allows the anger to dissapear with time.
• Accept the sadness ….take it in, and let it go. It eventually brings you to a new inner peace and appreciative heart.
• Dance to the music ….it opens up your heart and soul to a different rhythm allowing only happiness to enter your being.
• Embrace the joyful moments….Love, Laugh and Live. You will not want the days to end.
• Learn from your past …Accept your human, and not perfect. There will be good days and bad, and     mistakes and great decisions are all part of life. Of course, good decisions can make your life great.
• Change is inevitable…. As the saying goes, "when one door closes, another opens." 
• Live in the present… Cherish each day, and open up your heart for all the unknown possibilities for love and happiness. Each day is a blessing. Don't just be a spectator.
• Be a great friend… The joy and appreciation it brings you and others will create beautiful life bonding moments.
• Family …does not have to be only those with your DNA. Surround yourself with family (by blood)   and those you would choose. "Be optimistic"… from tragedy, sorrow and pain can come beautiful rays of light that teach us to truly empathize for one another, making us better human beings.
• Remain curious ---Travel the world, read more books, learn new skills, we are being prepared for our next adventure like those that have departed.
• Leave your mark… we can’t all be incredible artists with great paintings of immense value, or have   voices like Luther, Lionel , John, Adele or Alicia Keys but, we each have God given talents that you can and will be remembered for when you leave this earth. I want mine to be as simple as that I was a Loyal, Kind, Generous and Loving human being. Until that day comes, I’ll do my best to maintain a life of gratitude and continue exploring ways to share a life well lived with others. 

My personal motto continues to be, "work hard, play hard, and dance until you can't dance any more.  "May your “wisdom” guide you to Live in the Moment, and have a passion for Life, Love and Travel.  

Reflections of Life , Love and Travel -- I am Passionate about Travel

I have been in the Travel business since 1982, and feel so blessed that one day I spoke with a friend’s father who was a wonderful and highly respected man. His name was Jim O’Hara, who at the time owned Cypress Travel and was President of the So Cal PATA organization. 

At a gathering one evening, he asked me what I wanted to do for a living?  He knew at the time that I was on an emergency credential teaching elementary school, and that I had some interviews with Social Services. But, I had not found full time employment immediately after graduating CSULB with my Sociology degree and that this was a pivotal life decision at 23 years old.   

Frankly, his Irish personality was bigger than life and one that made anyone feel at ease. He and his wife Mary who was of Mexican heritage had 5 children.  The love they had for each other, their family, friends, children’s friends and the Catholic Church was admirable and readily apparent as they welcomed everyone happily into their homes.  I just happened to be the fortunate one dating a friend of one of their daughter’s Fiancé at the time.  But, this conversation with Jim O’Hara changed the course of my life. 

He asked me some questions, then told me that I should really consider the travel business.  He suggested (about this very same time in 1982)  that I go to Anaheim and visit some of the hotels during my Easter break from teaching the 5^th grade class, and ask them if they had training positions or any openings in their Sales departments.  For some reason, he knew back then that I had the character/personality to make travel my career.  I did exactly what he told me to do and as luck would have it I received a call for an interview.  Sadly, I didn’t get that position. But, the man who interviewed me Joe Toro, the Dir of Marketing at the Grand Hotel in Anaheim felt I could be a salesperson.  He told me he would refer me to anyone looking to hire and train someone new to the business.  Then 3 weeks later, I got that call and was on my way to my new career in travel two weeks after the school year ended.  I’ve parlayed this into a 30 year plus career. 

Because of them, I found my passion!  By believing in myself, God and with the helping hand of two amazing men who took the time to care about my future I have traveled extensively internationally and domestically which without a doubt has enriched my life and perspective on people and the world. Yes, that Sociology degree has definitely also come in handy over the years.  I don’t have a degree in travel but, sometimes it’s that hands on experience that provides you the knowledge and wherewithal to succeed in any career along with a lot of hard work.

I wish I could tell them both once again how extremely Thankful I am for their contribution to my life, as I’ll forever be grateful for their foresight and guidance.  Unfortunately, Jim and Joe have both passed on to that wonderful place in heaven reserved for angels who did their job well by not only touching my life but, absolutely so many others.

If you know any young adults who seem lost or trying to get started in the business world please, take a few minutes of your time to talk with them and ask them what are their dreams, what do they love to do,  what puts a smile on their faces?   You could be that person’s angel!  The one that makes a huge difference in their life by caring, talking and providing suggestions to them.  

Becoming an adult can be a very scary place when you don’t know who you want to become in 3, 5 or 10 years.  Each of us has needed mentors sometime in life.  We are all here for a reason, let’s try to do whatever we can to lift someone up and earn our wings. 

I will continue to  ”Live in the Moment,” living a life of gratitude,  traveling the world with a passion for new discoveries, appreciating all the love I receive,  and awaiting the many blessings that I am yet to know. 

The Future is Bright

I still find myself many days trying to understand why my life has taken such an unexpected detour.    How did this awful disease enter Sam’s body and consume it, as if it was a welcomed guest.  All the while, slowly taking away the best of his human spirit, beauty, and dignity.  It is still so painful for me, to relive the last days of watching him fade away into a slow never to return sleep. 

The happy memories and life we built keep me going day to day but, then one shared life experience comes to mind and I am once again teary eyed.  The emotion that sweeps into my mind and heart seems like it will not ever go away, no matter how hard I try. I know being happy within myself and time are the only things that will eventually allow me to be at peace with his loss.  How much time, is the magic question? I started to take steps into a new life, only to be pulled back by unknown forces.   This was something that I was also unprepared for at this junction in time. 

These feelings have caused me to make decisions that will once again forever impact my future.  Through the ups and downs of life, there have always been people that have played a role in creating the individual I am.  There are many family, friends and special men who have shown their love and devotion for me but, I understand more clearly that like Sam some are meant to be a part of me with a pre-determined time and place in my life’s journey. 

I now see the individual that I am today is so very different from the young girl getting started in the adult world.  My life experiences have made me stronger, less needy, less naïve, less accepting, more controlling, more judgmental and more determined to build the life I envisioned for my years ahead. My quest is still unfolding before my eyes each new day. Especially as I bid farewell to another year, that has shown me strength, enlightenment, love, sadness, happiness and so much beauty from the people I have surrounded myself with each day. As well as, throughout my travels to Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Cancun,  Los Cabos, Hawaii and the incredible awe-inspiring Italy.     

Following my heart and intuition have always played important roles in my life so, it is with this trust that I continue on the road to healing this broken heart.  I will keep reminding myself every day of this New Year that if, I look up at the stars and the moon I will find a special heart filled with love for me to get me through the difficult moments of those days which make me question “why”” once again. I realize that as we walk our journey both the happiness and sadness we endure creates character building moments in this lifetime. 

I have faith in God,  and believe he,  Sam and the angels above will continue to guide me until I sit on my own star one day whispering to those I love from that great big universe far beyond.  So until then my philosophy of Living in the Moment will be as stated by Dr. Seuss, “Don’t Cry because it’s over, Smile because it happened. “

During those times of sadness, I wish us strength to push ourselves over the mountain peaks so, we can always see the beauty of the valleys that lie before us.  I believe the future is bright, and know this will be another year filled with hard work, soul searching and exciting adventures that I intend to embrace with a renewed enthusiasm.  I am forever grateful for you being a part of my life story.

Reflections of Life, Love and Travel ---"Till Death Do Us Part"

It was one year ago, that I truly knew the finality of these words.   As I watched you battle Cancer,  I never allowed the thoughts to enter my mind that you would never be able to once again get into that Pacific Ocean and catch a wave,  have a delicious dinner paired with a great bottle of wine,  get on another plane to your beloved Hawaii,  go down the coast in  your hot little red MG,  be here to have Tequilla shots with our family on Christmas day, or discuss that Turkey recipe you talked about with your favorite Scotsman, see you with your buddy watching sports or your A&E shows with that Scotch bottle and beer near at hand,  quickly followed by talking cars or the tribulations of having driven wives, watch you smoking cigars with your older boys on a family vacation, being at another surf meet, ending a day having ice cream or cookies in bed with me as we  excitedly awaited the new season of our favorite shows,   me looking over at you behind the BBQ preparing a great steak dinner for our friends,  or saying goodnight and that you Loved me. 

If only you would have not tried to protect me from your pain, and intuition that this was going to end badly.  I would have tried to spend even more time being at your side, to just sit and talk about our life together and the memories that meant the most and those that would get me through the dark days of mourning your loss.  The intensity of your pain was not something that I could feel or comprehend, as you were so strong and didn’t want this burden you carried living in me each and every day.  Only when you could no longer handle the pain on your own less than 10 days from your departure from this earth, did I fully grasp the tragedy of seeing your body taken over by this life destroying disease and that our yesterdays were now our history and future.  

As we neared the end, all I could do was be there to hold your hand, remind you that I Loved You even when you could no longer say the words yourself, have our dear family and friends come share some last moments with you, shed the tears that needed to leave my body as I held tightly on to one or all of our boys, fill the house with the sound of Hawaiian music and remind myself that you were going to that beautiful place with shining stars and remarkable sunsets, and would be with  God and other family members who had left us before you.  I knew it would be your happy place forever more with the most perfect waves and beauty beyond compare. 

It pained me so to let you go but, it is what I know now is part of a master plan.  People may come and go but, the memories, the joy, and the feelings will live on in all those you touched into eternity. Each generation of our family will remember you through stories, pictures, or your personal possessions passed on. 

Those nearest to you and I have had a year to reflect on the beauty of a man who was happy to stand and watch the crowd without being the center of attention, one who would be there to cheer on those he loved at a life event, a man who enjoyed capturing the most candid of moments through your own lens, and a proud Hawaiian who lived with Aloha and for the silence on a perfect wave finding your personal peace and happiness. 

You told me long ago that should you not be here for some reason one day that you wanted me to be happy, to look forward and to love again.  So, I know you are looking down on me and telling the other angels, “ that’s my wife I knew she would survive it.”   This was a life changing year in every way, and I did survive with tremendous love and support.  I somehow managed to thrive, and now feel so incredibly alive once again.  This journey has made me see life through a clearer lens, as I know that it can change and disappear in a split second.  My appreciation for everything is so much greater having been through this life lesson.  You are so very missed by many but, will never be forgotten. I  know you will always be sending me blessings, as you have so many times this past year.  I  am certain you are happy to see the path I am on.  

I will from this day forward leave my disappointments, regrets and grief of these past two years behind me so,  I can truly be happy,  love to the fullest, and share all I’ve learned with those special people that are a part of my life.  I’ll keep your memories alive as we did with our unforgettable Dinner on the Beach Wednesday evening celebrating you, where many of us felt your presence.   I’ll keep you in my heart, and will go on living and loving with purpose the life that was intended me with deepest gratitude for all that you brought to my world.  I’ll promise to “Live in the Moment”, and be forever proud that I was Sam St. Germain’s wife ,  “Till Death Do Us Part”  resonated in my soul. 

Reflections of Life, Love and Travel ---“Love and Honesty”

No smoke screens here,  I believe in “Love and Honesty”.   Anyone who really knows me, knows that this is my M.O.    It is what makes me who I am.  

This philosophy lives deep within me, and I have applied it to all my relationships.   With the men who have shared my life, my children, my parents, my family, my friends and with my work relationships.  I find that it keeps me true to myself and my core beliefs.

When I love someone,  I definitely have distinct ways of showing when I’m happy, sad, or angry.  Regardless of whether the person receiving the information likes what they hear, they will always know that it is coming from my heart because I love them. 

Some of you reading this now, will be able to nod your head because you have been that person across the table or the room from me.  Close friends and family might even say, “don’t make that Puerto Rican mad.”   It does take a lot to make me angry but, it does happen on occasion.  My kids are definitely nodding their heads now.  I am happiest when I’m with a special someone who fuels my mind, body and soul from deep within, which makes me shine outwardly to all who know me.   I’ve always felt that being in love is an unbelievable feeling, and one that can have so many levels of intensity with different individuals. 

I do believe that honesty is a necessity to any relationship.   I know for me and most of my friends, once we begin to question the honesty of someone it quickly begins to peel away layers of  faith and trust instantly.   It is very hard to regain that unquestionable level of trust again, once betrayal or deceit has been discovered.   This applies to all levels of human relationships I’ve experienced.   With honesty, I’ve found that people always know what to expect from me and have respected me more for it. 

In personal relationships they know that I will tell them what is in my heart, and express it from a loving place.  I am always thinking of their safety, well-being, or future.  In business, my clients know that I have integrity and will not make promises I can’t keep or pretend to know something I don’t. 

As a parent, I’ve found that both love and honesty need to be expressed daily.   Even though, my sons and I have our disagreements I know that if I was gone tomorrow they would easily be able to say, “she loved me with all her heart and only wanted the best for me.”   I try to be their cheerleader, whenever the opportunity arises.  Although,  I know there is always room for improvement.  It is a two way street of showing love in verbal and non-verbal ways towards one another.   One simple way is by taking the initiative to help around our home.  It shows me that they love, respect me, and appreciate what I do for our family daily.  I can’t do it all, and a little help goes a very long way.  But, honesty lives on forever.  It allows you to truly know a person.

So, I pray that you may be so lucky to have incredible partners, family, friends, children, business collegues and other loved ones that make you feel as special as those that share their lives with me.  My motto is, “work hard, play hard, and love hard!”  It is through “Love and Honesty”, that I plan to continue living a long, experiential, and heartfelt existence until I am called home to see my maker in the heavens above.  

Reflections of Life, Love and Travel ---“Life and Death”

Once again these past few weeks have shown me, how life can be fleeting and so unfair for  many that are taken much  too soon from their beloved family and friends here on earth.   Unfortunately, every day is really about Life and Death. 

As I sat at a memorial service yesterday at the very same church where we sat almost a year ago to say our Aloha to my husband Sam, I had such sadness in my heart for the loss and pain my friend and her children had to bear as they said goodbye to their father, and ex-husband of 16 years and friend/partner of 26 years. 

It feels like yesterday that I walked down that aisle with a church full of family and friends. I once again recalled the pain in my heart, and the sadness in my soul on that day and for months following.  As the service began, it was hard to fight back the tears.   But this time the tears were not for me they were for my friend and my knowledge of the journey she and her children will be embarking on.  For I have learned so many life lessons through the loss of my husband.    I remembered the tears that flowed down my face that day, and how difficult it was to believe that this person who I loved would not walk in my front door or down the drive way again with his surfboard, make his sons laugh, make me smile, cook us dinner, surf another wave, play with our dogs, or enjoy a fun evening or vacation with our friends and family. 

However as Monsignor Barry said today, it doesn’t mean they are no longer with you or that you can’t talk to them any longer.  I have had many conversations with Sam over this past year.  He just can’t respond in person, or give me that “are you crazy look” any longer.  I do very much feel his presence in my life, his encouragement for me to move forward and be happy and to love once again.

I have learned over and over this year, that life is meant to be lived….really lived!  Time is a precious commodity! So many of us live on a treadmill of life, jumping off for a short time every once in awhile to appreciate our blessings, our families and friends, and the beauty surrounding us.   The joys shared with my friends and family this year have been many.   I know that Sam must be very proud of me and our boys for how we’ve traveled this road, and come out of the darkness and fog we felt much wiser and stronger than we could have imagined. Not to say, that there haven’t been set backs or difficult days at times.  But, with all the love we have received it made it so much easier to take one step at a time. Sam wanted love and happiness for us, and we have survived many firsts without him this year.   I have personally been reminded that life can be short more than I like, with the recent losses for my friends and family. 

On any given day, we can mourn the death of a good soul and simultaneously celebrate the joys of new babies being born to our friends, their children, and others.  It is truly, “the Circle of Life.”  There are many surprises in life,  I’ve chosen to embrace them because they are sometimes messages, gifts or guidance from those who have departed.   It will take time but, I believe I will one day understand them all.  

I will continue to” Live in the Moment” , by sharing  joy and compassion freely, living life large and loving deeply those that touch my heart,  for there is no guarantee of tomorrow.